Stephanie writes to ask: When I’m writing a novel I find it really hard to set the scene and describe characters. It just seems so plain and boring in my description. Any tips on describing characters and scenes?
Writing instructors vary on their insistence that setting and characters be described fully. Some say leave it and let the reader imagine everything. Others say you need to paint that scene for the reader so they can see it.
I think somewhere in the middle is best.
If you describe nothing, you have what’s commonly referred to as talking heads, which is a string of dialogue coming from people the reader can’t see.
And if you describe too much, you keep the reader from experiencing the action of the story.
My editor, Jeff Gerke, in his book The Art & Craft of Writing Christian Fiction, explained it to me like this. Imagine yourself in a dark movie theater. The screen is black. Then some people begin to talk. But there are no faces on the screen. If this goes on for too long you would become frustrated with this film.
Say there are two people on the screen, but they are just floating there on a black background. This too may be tolerable for a moment, but soon you would want to know where these people are. What the setting is.
Jeff says you should think of your description as you might if you were attending a play. You sit down in the audience. The curtain opens. And there is the set. Then characters walk onto it. Readers deserve no less in a novel. They should be able to picture the set in their mind at the start of each scene.
But how do you do it?
How much to describe is a personal preference for each writer. It will become part of your voice. Some writers describe a lot. But description can be as simple as saying something like this.
Brian tapped the desktop with his index finger, waiting for a reply to his email. The office was deserted at this hour, lit only by the glow of his monitor and the emergency exit light in the hallway.
That’s enough description to paint a picture in the reader’s mind. You don’t need any more until he moves or sees something on his computer screen.
I describe my settings thoroughly in my medieval fantasy novels because I want the reader to see the beauty of this place without telling them: It was beautiful.
Here is an example from my book, By Darkness Hid.
The boat slowly rounded the rocky cape, and the land ahead came into view. Vrell gasped. The rocky coast on her left came to a point where it nearly met the flat, grassy land that curved down from the right. Two colossal pillars—clearly manmade—rose from the land on either side, each one wider than three redpines. An iron portcullis stretched across the sea between the pillars, its black bars woven in a tight, intricate pattern.
Beyond and slightly to the right, she could see the second set of the Reshon Gates standing sentry, looking much smaller from her position. Further right, in the distance, the stone city of Mahanaim sat like stacked yellow, brown, grey, and orange blocks against the velvety backdrop of Darkness.
And here is a shorter example from the same book.
He followed Sir Gavin to the fourth floor and down a dark hallway to the knight’s bedchamber. It was a nice room with a bed, a sideboard, a fireplace, and a chair by a window that overlooked the tournament field.
A boy Achan’s age stood near the fireplace, two stools beside him—one empty, the other holding a basin of water.
If we tear my examples apart, you can see that both of these happened to start with the point of view character traveling. Vrell was in a boat. Achan was walking though a castle. What they are traveling is described. Example one: a rocky cape. Example two: a dark hallway on the fourth floor. Then there is a brief statement of what they see or enter into. Example one: a scenic view of land. Example two: a bedchamber. Then the description is given in detail. Vrell, because she is a girl who notices more detail, goes on longer than Achan, who points out the need to know facts.
Writing good description takes practice and many rewrites. I tend to ignore it in my first draft and add it in during the rewrite stage.
But try to use simple words. Nouns like: hallway, bedroom, office, coast, pillars, sea. Verbs like: curved, stretched, standing, stacked, holding. And adjectives like: rocky, grassy, colossal, and specific colors. Try to avoid those “ly” adverbs. And use metaphors and similes whenever possible. Example one: the stone city of Mahanaim sat like stacked yellow, brown, grey, and orange blocks. Avoid clichés or twist them to make them your own.
We’ll talk about describing characters in my next post.
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